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15 February 2011 @ 11:43 pm
I have completely forgotten about this journal. Now that I've read through it, I hate it. This was the time in my life where I hated everything and made horrendous choices. I will be deleting the blog about the guy and the bar because that was the worst decision ever. It lead to something that broke someone's heart 5 months later and had a huge deal money wise. He is not a good person.

On the other hand, I got married to my original guy. He is awesome and it's been 1 year and a few months of marriage. It's all good :)

I will be updating here and there.
 
 
Current Location: bedroom
Current Mood: mischievousmischievous
Current Music: silence
 
 
02 May 2008 @ 04:28 pm
Men (not gay men),who are raised completely by woman are a danger to women themselves.
 
 
18 February 2008 @ 11:38 pm
She wraps her raspberry lips
Around his frosted sapphire ring,
Cold to her taste,
Desperate search for another world.

His eyes pierce through hers.
Green as the forest,
Black as the burnt crust peeling
From the dying trees.

Watermelon sparks
The seeds pound constantly,
Indigo raspberry
Sours the tongue.

Coconuts are left behind.
The beach no longer an option
For the fruits aren't labored.
It's all swallowed by the sea.

Whirlpools of tornados,
Cherries and blossoms
Between the rings of smoke
And poker chips.

Distant yelps
Smothered by the pleading purrs,
While those relinquished souls mourn
For their paper money.

Back,
Forward,
Past the present
Walls can't stop chattering
Their tales of Chaucer.

Back to him,
He won't look.
Stop.
He won't care.
Go.
Don't you dare.

Chained to the bottle
Of clouded liquid
Fogging her thoughts.
Finally, an escape.
 
 
07 October 2007 @ 11:57 pm
So, I am saving up money... for something.
1) Car
2) Trip to London for a Study Abroad program

I don't know which though. I NEED a car, but traveling is a once in a lifetime thing. Its either travel or do an internship, and no way do I want a shitty internship. But then, a car is so essential right now.
Ahh I just dont know

My job at applebees is okayish. IIn 3 days, I can make more money than what I make workign at a grocery store for 3 weeks.

BLaH

so yea, school is fucking boring. I hate not living in a dorm
I need a party or something

>,<
 
 
11 September 2007 @ 08:11 pm
- The first day I met him, was the last day I was actually "carefree"

- Chocolate is way too good

- I'm not used to the "college thing" yet. I need to get reading, writing, etc, but I don't know where to start.

- I want to live in a dorm. I want the actual college life. I will never get it.

- When do I work in Applebees? I didnt look at my schedule

- I need to exercise more

- I used to have such good dept in my thoughts, where did it all go? I don't think like that anymore... Im hoping my psych class will get me intune with that again

- I WANT TO PHOTOGRAPH SOMETHING!!

- I need a laptop.

- A girl brought a dog to Speech class... it was so cute. It was in one of those "dog bags"

- I need to read my psychology chapters

- Where is heee??

- American people have obsessed way too much over the media drama that has been presented to them. But then, if we stop watching the entertainment news, etc, and start listening to the real world, everyone would be depressed.

- Is it better to live in a world of "happy" cluelessness?

- I dont know what else to say
 
 
 
03 September 2007 @ 12:05 am
So...

Yesterday was my 1 year anniversary with my boyfriend. I made him a scrapbook of all the pics we took together throughout the year. I gave it to him, and he didn't even look at it, or bother looking at it. Yesterday was a mess. I tried to ask him why he was in such a bad mood... I got "I had to go shopping and im tired". He took a nap after, so I dont see why he was still tried.

And so, today, I took a day off from work, JUST for this day thinking we would do something together later on for our anniversary. Yesterday I had to work, so I couldn't do it then. But instead it was one of our friend's birthday and we celebrated. I drank and he did as well. I got to a point where I was drunk ish, but I stopped and sobered up a few hours later. He... well, he just kept going. I gave him food, told him to slow it down... and the night ended with him throwing up, and sleeping on the back seat of the car. (He just went home by the way).

To finish off my rant,
He did not give me anything yet ( as in a gift ), got drunk on the day I told him we should do something together, and completely just ruined everything.
I know its the thought that counts... when there is a thought. He has no fucking "thought", or a mind to go along with it when it comes to showing any kind of appreciation.

Sometimes I think guys are all the same. Selfishness runs in all of us, but some just love to bask in it.
I don't know why I am making such a big deal or why I even carry on about it, but I want something out of it. Some appreciation.

A girl I know told me how her ex also screwed up her one year thing and how he barely showed that he loved her. Im starting to really think it will happen to us too. I know he cares, but somehow someone (or I) need to get into his head and make him do the right things.

Yea, he said "im sorry" about a million times, maybe less, but that was when he was drunk. Do you listen and trust someone when they are drunk? I dont know anymore because sometime I believe drunk words are just all bullshit. But sometimes, you might never know.

And the worst part... he wont remember anything.
 
 
18 August 2007 @ 02:50 pm
hmmm  
If anyone feels generous and helpful, my birthday/xmas things that I want, include:

any line of MAC eyeshadows/make up sets
a camera

;)
 
 
11 August 2007 @ 12:09 pm
300  
So I finally saw the movie, and it is amazing. I loved it so much. I only wish I saw it in theaters, I hear it was in IMAX.. maybe I'll try to see it on that soon.
But while I was watching it, the whole time I just couldn't stop thinking how awesome it was. This isn't just a regular fighting movie, and thats half the reason why I loved it. Mostly, it was the artwork. I've read somewhere that someone commented, saying how you can take each scene and make it into an art work. It was amazing how so unreal AND real it looked, like a real fantasy.

300 is awesome :D
 
 
04 August 2007 @ 02:18 pm
Eyes  
The lasik was done yesterday, painless and no struggle.
They gave me all these drop and valium. One I took that Valium, I was too relaxed lol. I know what that stuff does, but I never had it. I was way too nervous before the surgery, so I guess the pills help.

They laid me down and gave me a teddy bear to hold. Then, after they pushed my eyelashes out of the way, I was told to look at the red dot. I was then warned that everything will be completely dark for 10 or so seconds, and that was when they started cutting my cornea and making a flap. I felt how the flap was created.. very weird. Once they took the flap off, everything was  blurrier (sp?) than without my glasses and I saw the laser's blue light on my eye. They put the flap back on, cleaned the eye and right away, I saw everything. They repeated this for my 2nd eye.

Just in 5 minutes, I was done and sent home with a teddy bear and sunglasses :)
Its so awesome how i can just wake up and see everything. Its amazing
 
 
Current Mood: excitedexcited
 
 
02 August 2007 @ 02:11 pm
wow.. tomorrow is the Lasik!
I've always wondered...how do they make babies cry on cue on shows/movies, etc?

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I found these "anti-alcohol" posters from here: http://www.tululuka.net/alco/

Funny thing is: they are in russian.. but russians love to drink (well most of them do)



The time for collective parties was to end long ago

text in sign: “Greetings convention participants!”
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Vodka brings with it

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Who's a smart guy, and who's a fool! One's got a book and the other's at the bar.